Dreaming Out Loud

I had terrible dreams two nights ago...I don't know why my mind often meanders into darkness while sleeping. My dreams are often filled with people doing wrong to people. I use to be very afraid in them, waking to a racing heartbeat and hopes that it was, indeed, just a dream.

However, lately, I have not been as much afraid. Instead, I find myself assisting those that are being wronged. Whether it is trying to save someone from a murderer, kidnapper, etc. I have a clear mind, clear goal and understanding of what needs to be done in order to assist their freedom. I am not necessarily the one saving them, but I am clearly guiding them to the place of rescue. At the exact same time, I find myself fending off the proverbial "bad guys" as well. I don't feel that I can be harmed by them in the manner that they could harm the others; yet, I do sense danger. They tend to be more of a nuisance to me trying to assist others.

When thinking through my dreams, I have wondered if this is my subconscious acting out the desires of my heart. I find myself wanting to lead others to the Light in every day and every way. I am IN the Light, so I am safe; but I know that others aren't.

Just me thinking out loud.

God is so good to me. There is no greater freedom than that which comes when one is fully obedient to God. <3

³⁸ For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, ³⁹ nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38-39 (ESV)

I am amazed at the difference one day can make...actually one hour...let's take it down to one minute. I have been unsettled for over a week. VERY unsettled. I am making big changes. HUGE changes! I had been set free from the anxiety of those changes until last week.

I took my eyes off of God. I starting sinking in the water. I was in the middle of the storm walking freely on water and I took my eyes off of Jesus. WoW! What a panic! As I was wailing around in the water trying to keep from drowning, I would glance at Jesus, but not affix my eyes to Him. Then Monday night; He SET His eyes on me. I knew I was immediately safe. I felt immediate peace. I felt immediate excitement again!

I don't want to be like the Israelites in Exodus and not trust God's best for me. I don't want to wander around in the desert any longer. I want to be like Joshua and KNOW that God can deliver me to the land He has chosen me for. I want to focus on Deuteronomy and the "Words" God so clearly spoke to His children (ME!).

May I cling to these "Words" as I start my journey into the unknown with my both of my feet planted firmly in His will for me. May I grow stronger in who He is and who I am IN Him.

WoW! What a difference a day can make!

I was completely minding my own business...charging forth in life trying to do what would make me happy. "Happy" always seemed to escape me. It never held down roots, it was there and then it was gone, then it was there again, then gone. It did not seem to matter how many friends I had, how much money I made, how many places in the world I saw..."happy" escaped me like a wreckless jester mocking me in the wind.
Here is my life, my story, in the raw. I have not exactly found "Happy", but what has found me is "radical contentment", "radical joy", "radical peace."
DOB - 7/3/73  RU - 8/17/12